A glowing tan's always hot—but how about a tan that doesn’t involve roasting like a summer sausage on a beach or, God forbid, appearing orange-ish like an overripe tangerine because of some third-rate tanning product? Enter: Certified ShitHot Tanning Drops. Look, we get it, you're thinking, 'Do self-tanning drops actually work?' The answer, darling, is a resounding YES. Slip into your jim-jams and let's spill some tea on these tanning game-changers.
They won't clog your pores
Remember those days of running around like a headless chicken to find a face tan that doesn't cause a breakout? Well, those days are officially behind us. Self-tanning drops are specially good for the face as they won't clog your pores. It's a bit like having your cake and eating it too, only, in this case, the cake doesn’t give you a sugar rush followed by an epic crash; it just gives you a naturally tanned glow. Now ain't that sweet!
I had an experience once—with a traditional fake tan, it made me look like a kabuki mask gone wrong. From then on, it was war between the bronzer and me. Then along came these tanning drops, I'll be honest folks, they were like the tanning equivalent of Clark Kent turning into Superman. Ordinary face—bam!—golden goddess. No breakouts, no blocked pores, a genuine sun-kissed glow. These drops are the real deal.
How long do body tanning drops last?
You're probably thinking, "If I go down this road, how long do these miraculous drops last?" Well, let me tell ya, all our tanning products are developed to last up to one week. They fade as gracefully as Audrey Hepburn exited any room—just like your natural suntan would.
For best results, may I suggest you pretend you're a snake and shed those old skin cells by exfoliating prior to application? Post that, reapply your preferred product every few days while keeping your skin as hydrated as a watermelon in a tropical rainforest. That’s the secret recipe to stay glowing for longer.
As for the application, it's easier than making instant noodles and—I guarantee you—ten times as satisfying. Just add these ShitHot Tanning Drops into your moisturizer, mix well, and apply evenly over your face and neck. But watch out, dodge the eyes. Otherwise, you'll look less sun-kissed and more like you've gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Increase the number of drops until you've landed on the perfect shade of golden Caribbean tan.
The best alternative to traditional fake tans
Like us, you've probably had your share of fake tan nightmares. Remember that time when you looked a cross between a Cheeto and a beach ball? Yeah... let's not go there again. No one wants to look like they've gone wrestle with a bag of Doritos, right?
So here's a hot take: facial self-tanning drops are a great alternative to traditional fake tans. They are a bit like the Avengers—stepping in to save the world when traditional tans have wreaked havoc on humanity. Or, at least, on our complexion.
In the end, what we're saying is—give these Certified ShitHot Tanning Drops a shot. Best-case scenario, you'll be sporting a golden, sun-kissed glow. Worst-case scenario… well, there isn’t one. So, go on, why don't you give it a whirl and up your game to a shit hot complexion!
Remember, when it comes to tanning, always pick something that looks like the sun did it, not a radioactive Dorito. That's the secret to being shit hot!